I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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