porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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