She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
They have beer where we have blood.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
