what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
no you cant smoke seaweed
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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