so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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