This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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