I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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