Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How's work?
Spinning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
