I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
