We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
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I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
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YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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