hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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