You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
