Dude my mom stole all your condoms
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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