You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
