What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Congratulations! We have a period
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