When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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