just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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