Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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