No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is Oprah even human
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
