Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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