Already got asked if we're dating
Jerry, you need to find god
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
