I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
