News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
