i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
