I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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