so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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