If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
