Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
