Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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