I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
