She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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