I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.