I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall