May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have already put on my inside pants.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life