fuck your aforementioned shoe
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?