using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.