we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
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He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
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So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.