Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
