He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
