Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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