Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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