He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
