in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
