Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
