i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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