forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We need to get me chipped asap
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
