Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
