I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize