if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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