He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
