Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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