yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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