She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
