I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
