Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
