glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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