I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
