At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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