You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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