Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
