So drunk, too bad you don't want this
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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