Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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