I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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