It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
