we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
