2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
