so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
