shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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